Muni Rolls Snake Eyes OR….Why The Bus Sucks

Oh Muni.
SF Muni.
You had me at Christmas, doing exactly what you’re paid to do….get me to where I want on time.
Then I took the 30 Stockton the other day with my brother after a fruitless search for San Jose Sharks memorabilia. We shoulda stayed at Kennedy’s in North Beach for way more $2 Guinness than sitting on that infernal machine. Oh wait, that would assume we could have actually sat DOWN on said bus.
I won’t bore you with details. All I can say is this….if you’re wanting to do the right thing and NOT have a lot of $2 Guinness or 2 for 1 beers at Kennedys, DON’T rely on the 30 Stockton to take you away, ESPECIALLY on a rainy night.

Between the loud people, the inordinate amount of Loud Crazy Homeless Folk, the lurching of the bus as it tries to evade the double parkers up the street in Chinatown who illegally park, and the steamy goodness of a bus during rainy season, and oh did I mention the lumbering psychotics who have to get on the bus (like the guy who had to sniff the doors, the poles, and everything on the bloody bus before and during his trip??), you’re looking at a world of pain.
I looked at my brother and said “And WHY did we leave the bar so early? We HAD to leave? Would it have KILLED us to have just one more Guiness? or Coke? or FUCKING ANYTHING BUT SITTING ON THIS GODDAMNED BUS???”
Well I didn’t say it like that but we both realized we’d made a big mistake.
Now dont’ get me wrong. I ain’t no bigot, and I don’t deny that society has many serious problems. Here’s the thing. When I get on the bus and want to take a trip, paid for with taxes and a $45 bus pass, I don’t want to think, contemplate or deal with said issues – I JUST WANT TO GET TO WHERE I WANT TO GO.
Having some raving lunatic who sniffs everything and who (literally I’m not making this up!!!) HUMPS the metalware on the bus doesn’t make me “more sensitive to the issues”, it makes me wanna pull out the Elephant Gun and start shooting.
Ok maybe not that, but if the liberals are wondering why Gavin Newsom got so many votes for “Care not Cash,” and can’t internalize that fact, here’s a hint: just because we may be liberal doesn’t mean we accept that Third World living is “OK” or “PC.” It ain’t cool for the mentally ill, and it ain’t cool for us. Deal.
Eventually we just got off the bus in the pouring rain way way sooner than we were supposed to , just to get off the Express Train to Hell. Muni once again rolled snake eyes on the 30 Stockton, and if it weren’t for the fact that walking to the F-Market was a fool’s errand I’d suggest that I’d never take it again to get home.
But for a $2 Guinness, it’s hard to walk away. Can you name one other bar in California, much less San Francisco, that offers such a deal?
Now you know why the 30 Stockton and Muni prevail, despite all the bitching.

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