We live in a society of folks who don’t like rules. Well, more correctly they like rules for everyone else but they sure as heck don’t like rules for them. For that reason, we have MUNI Street Theater.
The other day we had a special PSA provided by our players: “Why You Shouldn’t Eat or Drink on MUNI.” The show was short and to the point, just like those sugary little bits of wisdom on TV, and similarly, made a point that only the terminally clueless wouldn’t get.
After having lunch at Zazie in Cole Valley, I got on the N to go back to the Sunset, and a guy rushed on with the tallest coffee one can buy.
Without a lid.
And, like a horror movie where one sees Victim #2 about to open the door where the murderer is hiding, I wanted to shout advice to the cast member, but realized it’d be futile. Sure, one should not eat or drink on MUNI and in this case it was a matter of practicality – given the sudden stops the N has to make, it was likely that at some point Our Zero Hero was going to be wearing his coffee. However, I also realized that in our Era of No Rules, saying so would be pointless.
Instead, I just moved back a few rows to get a good view and avoid a RHPS-like participation in the PSA. Every stop the MUNI train made, was one more chance to see this guy splatter all over, and each time the tension built….would he make it to his destination sans hot coffee on his hipster hoodie? The tension began to build.
Finally, after we passed 9th Avenue, the N had to make a quick stop to avoid hitting a wayward motorist. Everyone made a quick lurch. And in a moment, Hipster Hoodie Coffee Guy was covered in lukewarm liquid.
Cue sugary PSA tagline with Mariska Hargitay: “MUNI Rules About Drinks: They’re There, Because We Care.”
The payoff to this mini PSA wasn’t as great as I had hoped (the splash was funny, but not as truly spectacular as it could have been), and, because of the lack of fellow audience members (most of them got off at 9th and Irving) taking a picture discreetly wasn’t an option.
Lesson learned? Flouting the rules make make one feel rebellious and “cool” – but there’s a reason why they created them in the first place! Hopefully Hipster Hoodie Coffee Guy figured that out.