A Modest Proposal to Help Fund Muni: Fine Nail Clippings!

Friends, hear me out on this one: Earlier today I read Yet Another Tweet about people clipping their nails (fingers and toes) on Muni. Now, for the life of me I can’t even begin to understand how this happens, or why.
Seriously. I mean, are people’s lives so busy they can’t take the time to take care of this part of their personal hygiene at home? REALLY? I mean, I can’t even imagine sneezing on a Muni bus (I’ve literally de-boarded the N when I have a cold or whatnot) because I don’t want to annoy my fellow Muni Owner/Riders on the N. And yet, the Nail Clipping Brigade is one of the most constant complaints about Muni, up there with #munifail, short turns at 19th Avenue, a dysfunctional management, and the constant “pay more/get less” frustration that Muni Owner/Riders experience every day.
Our friends at Muni Manners pointed out just how rude this is a while back, and anyone who writes about Muni has confronted this human rights violation. (OK, “human rights violation” may sound a bit trite as people are litereally dying to defend Real Human Rights, so perhaps we can qualify this as a “San Francisco Human Rights Violation” because really, it’s not like anyone’s dying over this, but it still sucks.)
Earlier today, I posted this mild tweet suggesting that perhaps Muni could raise some cash for the cash-strapped system by issuing a fine to said evil-doers per nail clipped. Needless to say, said tweet generated quite a response.
But let’s be serious for a moment – I’m no fan of parking fines to pay Muni, yes, but fining those who make our collective lives miserable, be they traffic scofflaws on various wheeled entities, or those who abuse Our Muni with vile behavior, such as vandalism, urine and nail clippings? I say go for it. Yes, it’s Our Muni, but as owners we have responsibilities as well as rights. Maybe if we provided a better carrot/stick approach, everyone would win?
Yes, I’m being a bit satirical, but it’s worth considering. I realize this offends people of the “Coddle the Criminal” faction at City Hall, but who cares what they think? Their irrelevance is clear – and our Muni needs some cash. Hey, is it any crazier than selling sodas in the stations? I think not!