Fare Evader Junkie Logic – Celebrity Style

Whenever I listen to the plaintive cries of fare-evaders I wish I could tape the “junkie logic” these folks use to try and explain away why they boarded without paying like the rest of us citizens.
Just the other day I couldn’t help but laugh at yet another well-heeled upscale hipster, trying to explain why he didn’t have a transfer or a pass in the Van Ness station that utilized such extreme junkie logic, even the MUNI fare inspector had a look on their face of “Oh my God, I’ve finally heard it all.” Trying to remember it properly just gives me a headache.
Then I opened up the Examiner and read junkie logic, boomer celebrity style in the form of Ken Garcia’s column in the Examiner. Now, normally I don’t spend a lot of time reading Ken’s columns since I pretty much know what he’s going to say in advance on any issue, but the headline made me curious.
After reading it, it was clear what the problem was – he doesn’t mind the MUNI fare inspectors doing their job and applying the rules to Everyone Else, he just doesn’t like it applied to his own kid or her friends. While admitting, yes, they screwed up, he feels his kids and their friends should have gotten a mere warning, while you, I, and Everyone Else should get a big ticket and more.
Apparently, fare inspectors are to deduce that kids from the good part of town deserve a pass, while another kid with the same story (and from a part of town Mr. Garcia doesn’t like) should get a ticket and a slap upside the head.
After all, shouldn’t MUNI inspectors just “know” that “good kids” (i.e. his) deserve a break? And if they don’t, that must be because (as he alleges without any statistical evidence) “most” transit inspectors are ex-thugs and not qualified to do their job – simply because, well, they did it “too well.” See how junkie logic works? Yeah, my head is spinning too. And not in the good way.
It’s not his kid’s fault, and it’s certainly not his fault as a parent for not buying his kid a bus pass, it’s always Someone Else’s Fault. (Thank you, baby boomers for that gem of current American life) But if you or I screw up on MUNI, don’t look for any sympathy from Mr. Garcia and his band of junkie logic practicioners – it never works that way!

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5 Responses to Fare Evader Junkie Logic – Celebrity Style

  1. Jerry Jarvis says:

    Hey you said it at the start, why read anything that Ken writes?

  2. Larry-bob says:

    Yeah, I saw the column this weekend and I wondered why he didn’t buy his daughter a pass if she’s a frequent MUNI rider.
    I like to show people my pass and say “I’m a card-carrying member of MUNI.”

  3. MattyMatt says:

    I like that it took just one rightfully-issued ticket to turn him against Muni; back in December of 2005, Ken wrote in a column that Muni “has done such a fine job of keeping the trains running on time.” But now that they expect his daughter to carry her pass, the’ve “never been able to get streetcars and buses close to mandated performance schedules.”
    Boo hoo, I’ve just discovered that public servants can sometimes be surly. Somebody call the waaaaambulance.

  4. Greg says:

    @Mattymatt- yeah I agree. My first reaction was “Get off the cross, we need the wood!”

  5. Joshk says:

    Haha, thanks for pointing out that column. If it wasn’t so sad it would be funny. The headline was the kicker: “Garcia: Muni’s payment monitors are too gung-ho.”
    What’s funny about that is that even bus drivers on that new “ask a Muni driver” feature on SFist.com say that fare evasion is a big problem. So, are they too gung-ho or not gung-ho enough?
    If it was me who had an expired transfer (that’s why I check and put it in a safe place, like my cell phone, that I’m not going to leave anywhere) do you think some kind judge would cut me a break? I mean, I pay taxes and a ninth-grader doesn’t, so how’s that for “a sense of the moment?” My goodness, if his column wasn’t so upsetting it would make me laugh, but it just makes me mad.

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